wickedglitter: (Default)
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ugh

( Feb. 10th, 2009 12:36 am)
If not for the financial stuff I think I would be ok, but my hair is going to turn all grey and fall out before I even start chemo if I can't calm the fuck down. I have a chemo walkthrough tomorrow where they will basically go over what to expect and I will also be meeting with a financial advisor to work out payments and what not. I also have a consultation with the port doctor tomorrow, I almost started crying when I was filling out the paperwork they emailed to me. "Co pay or deductables are due at time of office visit" It makes me want to scream. It almost makes me want to say fuck it and just go back to work and save up money and just wait for the fuckin' cancer to come back later. I thought insurance was supposed to make things easier.

My friend [livejournal.com profile] godess_of_night has been posting very positive things in her journal and I found a very inspiring quote in a book of quotes Patrick's mom gave me 2 years ago for my birthday.

"When you get into a tight place and everything turns against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Here's hoping my tide will soon turn, I'm hanging onto sanity by an itty bitty thread.
wickedglitter: (Default)
( Feb. 10th, 2009 02:22 pm)
Well I went to consult with the port doctor. Tomorrow my surgery for the port is at 3:30 but I have to be there at 2:30. I will be put under and get a local in the area of the port. I didn't have to pay for the office visit or have to pay anything for surgery tomorrow, they will bill to insurance. THANK GOD
Now I just gotta tackle the chemo therepy walkthrough in an hour. I hope that my blessings will continue to follow me there and when I talk with the finance person I can work something out with payments that won't kill me from fuckin stress.
If you're wondering the cost of 6 months, 4 rounds of FOLFOX ( thats the code name of the Oxaliplatin regiment ) chemotherapy, it's 37,000$ Yes, 37k

It's going billed to the insurance, I don't have to pay anything right now...

They bill per treatment though. I will have to manage to pay the damn cobra 400$ a month if I want to keep the insurance through the treatment. 400$ a month for a few months vs thousands in medical bills.

I will have a minute to breathe and think, at least till the end of March. If I get let go from the company in April, even better. I just am reeling from the damn number. I wish they could bill it all to the insurance company up front but even I know that isn't really fair. But I sure don't feel like this has been fair...And if I do have to get on medicaid in the middle of treatment I'll have to switch doctors because that place doesn't take medicaid *flails*

sigh of relief for now, in a few weeks I'll be stressed again.

Port tomorrow, have to be there at 2:30. Chemo thursday, 8:45 am. Mommy comes to see me Friday.

Oh, on port placement, the doctor said there is a "very slim" chance the needle can go through the vein sometimes and pierce the lung as they are putting it in if the lung comes up kind of high. If that happens they have to put a tube in to let out the air. Telling me once was enough, throughout the consultation he mentioned it 3 times "but it's something rare"
This dude is a lil old too, I'm scared but I am gonna put it out of my mind. I could do without the pierced lung thanks doc. They will put me under for the surgery and it lasts about 45 mins. I go in at 2:30, they prep me, have me out and on the table by 3:30, hopefully waking up and just about ready to go by 5.

Worrying is exhausting I am gonna go have a nap
.

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