meh

Good to be home but I feel so weak and helpless. I hate how I can't bend down to just pick something up or put on my own socks. I'll be happy when these frankenstein stitches come out. Although my friend Yvonne says the staples coming out are painful =*( I was hoping they'd give me something for pain...we'll see I guess. My arms are so bruised up, I had to have 4 diff iv's put in when i was there cuz the iv's kept fucking up, and then my veins are deep so it is hard to stick me. I used to want to sleep all the time but with these stitches in it makes it so hard to get comfortable and sleep comes in 2-3 hour segments. I made my followup appointment for next tuesday to get the staples out then, by then I hope I am a little more mobile. I will certainly try to walk around and get better at moving. I have Zofran for nausea I get every so often and Darvocet for pain. The pain isn't too bad, It's more of a state of being uncomfortable pretty much all the time. I've been eating mashed potatoes and mac and cheese pretty much, I don't wanna overwork my digestive system. I thank god my doctor was awesome and sewed the colon back together so well that I didn't need to have a colostomy bag or whatever the fuck they're called. I don't think I could have handled that very well. I have this tickle in my throat that won't go away and it is bugging the shit out of me, it makes me want to cough and it hurts like hell to cough with these staples. Patrick brought me an apple juice slushie from sonic though, it numbs my throat so that tickle goes away.

I was gonna write some more but I'm completely blank again. I am feeling a little light headed so I guess I will go lay down. My mom is going to come visit in February. I am so glad she was strong on the phone for me when I told her. I know she must be freaking the fuck out but she didn't cry at all when I told her, and I needed that and I guess she knew I needed her to be strong because I couldn't bear everything happening to me + worrying about how it was effecting her as well. I wanna fast forward to chemo therepy and knock this shit out. I will know more next week about what is going to happen as far as chemo goes. I am kinda hoping I won't have it so long I'll lose my hair, but if I do, well, I have a shit load of hair it will grow back and until then I could find some really cool wigs I suppose hehe.

That's all for now, thanks for all the support everyone, I love you guys <3